Non Stop

heyfolks. do you ever have a day where you didn't plan on a particularly good outfit but once you got to work, people seemed to really like it, whereas on other days, you think that what you're wearing is a smash hit but it's not so sensational with anyone except yourself?

here is a conversation that took place in my fashion closet this morning between me, two interns, and our fashion assistant mike.

Intern A: "nina, your outfit today is NON STOP."

Me: "what?"

Intern A: "NON STOP."

Me: "that actually doesn't make any sense."

Intern B: "he's trying to make Non Stop happen."

Intern C: "but we don't really understand."

Me: "oh. but i'm queen of not making sense."

Mike: "yeah, she makes things up all the time that no one gets. like TIDAN."

Me: "exactly."

Intern A: "oh cool. basically it just means that it's so good that it's non stop."

Me: "like one long flight."

Intern A: "no."

Silence

i love my interns. i do. they're young and eager and bubbly and easily-excitable. and while i don't miss being an intern, i miss being their age, when you could say things like "i'm gonna go to europe. kick it. maybe take an art course. do some light reading. visit my aunt. eat a baguette." now it's all so heavy. literally. have you felt the weight of my handbag? my cab fares were $400 last month. that's like eight pounds in receipts. roughly the weight of a newborn child. did you hear me? the receipts in my bag ARE THE SIZE OF A BABY BOY NAMED ABRAHAM.

last weekend, i read this article in the NYT about a lounge opening in west chelsea called "1 OAK." have you heard about it? yeah? i'm sure you eventually did, after you wrestled your significant other or cat for it because it's jumping off THAT much. it's basically NYC's "dream team" (gagging) of nightclub owners uniting (choking) on one project and pretending that it is any different because they operate on "velvet egalitarianism" (i can't breathe) at the door, where "people will have to earn their way past the ropes" (call 911) "with an appealing personal style or disposition." (i died). i can only assume this means if, oh i don't know, heidi klum arrives, and she's in front of me and i feel that she's not turning it out, i can and WILL suggest that they don't let her in because she's not NON STOP and i am because my intern said so. sure. anyway, the point of this is not about the club which, may i add, DOES need to TIDAN, it's about the fact that while i was reading the article, i realized - holy shit - i'm old. the lounges they cited, like Life and Moomba, were hot almost 10 years ago, but it feels like last year, and if i mentioned them, my interns would think i'm referencing a dance step. now i'd rather stay at home, watch hitchcock, and bake. no, seriously. NO. SERIOUSLY. the last two weekends i made these and then i baked and decorated, YES, DECORATED christmas cookies. i'm a jew, but i appreciate christ, and i even made a menorah and used yellow M&M's for the flames.

happy hanukkah, l'chaim, shalom, mazeltov. amen.

oh, one last thing. i forgot to mention - if you're at a loss for what to get me for the festival (of lights), i wouldn't mind grace kelly's Rear Window wardrobe. and please don't feel badly if it's terribly expensive, it's for a good cause: my Non Stopedness and Appealing Personal Style so that i can get into a lounge that i don't want to go to.