sweet idiots

just spoke to D. she basically told me to get my ass up to westchester to "hang out with the idiots i went to high school with." (see above shot of us from four years ago at the boat basin). it made me feel good. i think i will go because maybe we will do fun high school activities: mailbox bashing, driving too fast down dead-end streets, hanging out at the "power lines," buying candy and gatorade at exxon, and stealing street signs. aren't you jealous? i had what you would call an all-american high school experience: great friends, basketball, field hockey, soccer -- friday night lights shit, and i was in love with my high school boyfriend. it's funny when i think back to that relationship and realize that it was probably better than 86% of my relationships since. we loved each other unconditionally. when i was sick, he was sick. when i had a rash all over my body from a fever, he sat on the other end of the couch and scratched my legs. if that's not love, then i don't know what is. i'm not sure where i went wrong with my most recent relationship, but i definitely need to find people who know how to love and who have no hang-ups. i miss being sixteen. no i don't. that's actually the dumbest and most false thing i've said in at least 17 days.

i have no food in my pantry. i had a shake with blueberries and strawberries for breakfast, but i got hungry again so i had two pieces of bread with mustard. i have no cheese. i have no deli meat. i am basically a loser who needs to go shopping. i'm actually pretty impressed that i even have bread. i am starving.

some people copy sub-par women's magazines on their blogs, and that is not what i am going to do here. i have not yet decided what i'm going to do yet that sets me apart, but it will be fantastic. just wait. i just had a glass of scotch. what a joke. i am entering my 30th year tomorrow and i have to start off on a good note. i have exactly one year. i don't know what that means, but i have one year. L told me that i seem like a very patient person. this made me laugh, but perhaps over time, i have improved.

i am looking forward to eating some hella hot BBQ today.
god bless.