this little piggie cried wee wee wee

i am having (a few) hang-ups with my hands and feet. my nails are a big part of the problem, but so are my bones.
i always thought i had nice long fingers and nice-enough feet.

lately i can't say this is true. my hands are rough. they look like they've been through a few things, even though they haven't. my feet are long, narrow, and bony. my nails are brittle.

i believe the culprits are:

pointy shoes
paper cuts
and age.

here is what is causing me anxiety. i agreed to be a hand and foot model (?!?!) tomorrow for a watch shoot, and now i have to get a manicure and a pedicure.

there must be something wrong with me. i hate these things. it starts the second i walk in. i have to pick a color, but i don't like nail polish in general, so naturally i am not pleased with any of the choices. they all look exactly the same and the names are vague, like "me talk pretty one day" and "tanning in barbados." after scouring the shelves for 10 mind-numbing minutes, i always end up with the same boring color anyway. i don't like sitting next to strangers pretending to enjoy reading about how well ben and jen are raising their violet and i also don't like how the pedi-filers assume that just because i have a lot of hair on my head that i require a full body wax.

also, it smells like someone tipped over a 10 gallon bottle of nail polish remover (because they did) and the chairs that massage you are not really massaging you. and you have to take off your jewelry and then some creepy woman rubs your back and pinches your neck a little too hard, and then you always stub your toe on something, smearing the nail polish and then they shake their head and curse about you in a make-believe language and redo the mistake about 50% as well as they did it the first time, and then you pay but there is always a credit card problem or you can't find your cash, so you dig into your purse ruining your manicure and it's a heart-racing ordeal, and the hard candies are always bad flavors and i am sweating just thinking about having to go.

but they close at 7 and my feet aint getting any prettier.

hasta.